At my worst moments, I lost all sense of hope for the future. As I began to slowly get better, I began to be able to say to myself, 'This will pass, you'll get through this. Hang on to hope.' John Kirwan was one of the most devastating wingers New Zealand, and world, rugby had ever seen. A prominent and revered figure at the dawn of the professional age of rugby, he seemed to live a charmed life. Nobody knew, though, that behind closed doors 'JK' was living a life of tormented fear. Afflicted with depression for many years âÂ�Â� including those as a high-profile sportsman âÂ�Â� Kirwan was able to survive by reaching out, seeking help from those closest to him. All Blacks Don't Cry is John Kirwan's story of hope, of working through the pain and living a full life âÂ�Â� a poignant, inspirational and helpful example for anybody battling depression. 'I've been to hell and I'm back. If you're in that same place, then I understand what you're going through.' First published November 2010.